Behind the Mic: More Sleep!

I will be getting much more sleep after this week.  David Letterman is retiring.  Wednesday, May 20, will be his last show.  I’m not embarrassed to say that I pretty much go to bed with Dave Monday through Friday and I have been doing so for the 33 years he has been on the air. He fit perfectly into my late night viewing following my favorites, Steve Allen and Johnny Carson.  I first caught Dave when he began his morning show at NBC.  My wife and I actually attended the taping of that show twice.  We, also, were in the audience a few times for the Late Show on CBS.

Letterman says he is retiring to spend more time with his son, Harry.  He feels he has been away so much during Harry’s early years that he owes it to him to be more of a father and less a public personality.  He did 5,914 shows (4,014 on CBS and 1,810 on NBC) and no one on late night did more.  He surpassed Johnny Carson, his idol, in February of 2012.

I have tried to give other hosts my late night attention: Leno, Rivers, Conan, Kimmel (who I do like), Ferguson, Fallen, etc.    Although good, none captured the absurd, zany, quirky, self-deprecating humor that was Dave’s.

As evidence, let me offer a Top Ten of a few of his strangest TV innovations:

1. Larry “Bud” Melman – who would put that guy on TV, but it was really funny.
2. Is this anything? Paul Shaffer and Dave would look at an activity and guess whether it was “anything” – What?  But it worked.
3. Rupert G. – The owner of the deli located near the theater, who seemed so uncomfortable on the air, yet Dave made Rupert a favorite of the show.
4. The “new” feature – He offers this up almost every night as if it will be a continuing part of the show. The new feature never sees the light of day again.
5. Throwing footballs at a pizza on a Christmas tree – need I say more?
6. Stupid Pet Tricks and Stupid Human Tricks – they are stupid, yet stupidly funny.
7. Throwing pencils and the breaking glass sound effect (often the sound effect is late and thus, funnier) – I’m easily amused.
8. The suits – Velcro, Rice Krispies, sponge, etc.
9. Visits from Jack Hanna – much like Carson before him, Dave was his funniest with the zoo animals.
10. Dave’s Mom – Dorothy was the perfect foil with “David”.

There were so many strange interviews, so many weird questions, so many uncomfortable interactions.  But that was Dave.  Starting Thursday, May 21, there will be a void in my day.  I suppose there will be reruns, but even Letterman always told the viewing audience not to watch those.

The good news, I suppose, is I will now get some much needed sleep and maybe my laugh lines will slowly disappear.  Because I can guarantee you with Dave gone, I will sleep more and laugh less.

ABOVE THE EARS (SOME MUSINGS) 

1. Floyd Mayweather bet a total of $350,000 on four sporting events last week – three NBA games and a boxing match. He won all the bets and collected $827,272.  I’m not sure he needed the money.
2. Robert Kraft insisted this week that A) the Patriots and B) Tom Brady are innocent of any wrong-doing when it comes to “deflate-gate”, but C) the team suspended the “deflator” and the equipment manager. If A and B are correct, why C?
3. American Pharoah won both the Kentucky Derby and the Preakness and now has a shot at the Triple Crown. No horse has won the Triple Crown since Affirmed won in 1978.  Jockey Victor Espinoza will attempt to win the Triple Crown for the third time and second year in a row.  He did not get it done with War Emblem or California Chrome.  The third time could be “the charm”.
4. After winning the Wells Fargo Championship, 26 year-old Rory McIlroy fell into third-place all time behind Tiger Woods (34), and Jack Nicklaus (20) for the most wins before age 27. McIlroy won his 11^th
5. Stroudsburg High School pitcher Mike Nikorak will most probably be a multi-millionaire in a few weeks. He was on RCNTV this past week versus Parkland and is being touted as the #1 right-handed pitcher in the nation and an MLB top ten draft pick.  He is 6-5, 220 pounds and throws the ball 95 mph and up.  He already looks like a major league pitcher.  However, Parkland beat him 4-2 to win the Eastern Pennsylvania Conference championship.  The two teams should meet again in the District AAAA championship.  Mike Nikorak – remember his name.